Conversations With My Id

“You know the only reason I married you was for your car.”  He knew she would smile at this, and she did.

“Well, the only reason I let you marry me was because you looked like a lost little puppy. It was seriously the cutest thing I’ve ever seen!”  Her smile always warmed him.  This time though it seemed warmer.  It was a different smile; a different glint in her bright eyes.  Casey’s breath caught in his throat and he prayed for the feeling to last.  He stared at her for what must have been just a little too long.

“Something I can help you with?” She asked.  She raised her thin eyebrows but her skin remained taught.  She was younger than he but the fact that her skin was the smoothest he had ever felt never failed to amaze him.  It was soft, unfettered by normal sun damage.  His gaze was forcibly broken by Marie’s waving hand.  Light from the bathroom bounced off the diamond in her engagement band.  “Earth to Case!”

“What?” he asked with a grin.  “I love getting lost in you.”

“Wow.” Marie said flatly.  “That was the corniest thing I’ve ever been told.  Congrats on setting a new standard, babe!”

“Well, it’s true!  I don’t care how cliche it is!  I love you, I married you, and now I get to get lost in you every single day for the rest of our lives.”  He grabbed for her waist as she squirmed away, letting out an involuntary squeak of laughter.  They were both a little drunk which made the teasing all the more fun.  The chase was on and Casey was going to win.  Marie would let him; she always did.  She liked being caught.  Being caught meant getting wrapped in his arms and that was her favorite place to be.  It didn’t take long for Casey to conquer.  He had Marie by the wrists, lightly but surely, and he led her backwards toward the bed.  Marie let out another squeak as she missed the bed and crashed to the floor.

The laughing began instantly.  They knew how foolish they must sounded to the neighbors in the apartment below, but they didn’t care.  They were husband and wife now and that was all that mattered.  Still smiling, Casey leaned in for a kiss.  There was a loud crack as their teeth collided.  It hurt them both like hell, but they went on laughing.  After a few moments of checking for blood or chips they helped each other up and stood on their respective sides of the bed.

They stood.  They stared.  For the first time since being officially married six hours before, they were both speechless.  They were both nervous, too.  And while neither would ever admit to it, they were horrible at hiding it.  They made eye contact and quickly darted their heads in opposite directions.  Marie was the first to speak.

“It’s like an eighth-grade dance.  The bed is like the dance floor.”  She always knew what to say to lighten the mood and make Casey smile.

“Yeah, but if my mom pulls up outside in ’89 Chevy wagon, I’m going to have to go.  I have to be up for my Eagle Scout meeting at seven.”  He smiled awkwardly.  Marie let out a sigh while stifling a pity laugh.

“So we’re agreed then?” She leaned down and peeled the blanket back on the right side of the bed.  “This is my side from now until the end of time.  Do you understand the deep significance of this night?  I need to know you understand, Casey.”  The mock seriousness was almost too much for them to bear without laughing.  “This is probably the most important night of your life.”  She had a coy look in her eye that made Casey fall in love with her all over again.

“Yes, Pookie.  I understand the dire consequences if I – God forbid – choose the wrong side of the bed.”  He spoke with a mock seriousness that elicited a groan from Marie.  She grabbed for her pillow and in one smooth motion leapt across the bed, knocking Casey back to the floor.

“NEVER call me ‘Pookie’!” She laughed.  They quickly got up and took their spots in bed, both knowing they would forever be relegated to that spot.  Casey thought about this fact, and more specifically the word ‘forever’, and that same warm feeling overcame him again and instantly turned red.

“You okay, hun?” Marie asked.  “You’re beet red!”

Casey replied the only way he could at that moment, “I’m perfect.  Thank you.  For everything.”

“You’re welcome?”

“Why the question?  I owe you more thanks than I know how to give.”

“Well, the same can be said on my end.  I love you, baby.”

“I love you, too.”

They kissed.  They had moved well past the stage of the wet kiss, the which-way-should-I-turn-my-head kiss, the peck, the forced-French kiss, and any other awkward show of affection a couple can share.  This kiss was one of deep love and expressed in a passion that only they could possibly know and share.  They had been in love with other people before.  They had kissed and made love to other people.  None of that mattered.  That was before they met, before they were ‘they’.  Rings or no, Casey and Marie were meant to be one, and they both knew it from the night they met.  Marie pulled her side of the blanket over herself and her side of the bed as Casey did the same on his side.  They both silently wished the other would break the silence, but delighted in the tension of their first night as husband and wife.  Casey took the lead.

“You know when I said ‘thank you’, I meant thank you for absolutely everything you’ve done for me.  Everything you’ve given me.  I’m a better man because of you and I will never forget it.”

“Stop saying sweet things, you jerk!”  Marie brimmed with happiness, barely able to keep it in.  “You know I love you.  Hell, now I’m contractually obligated to love you.”  Casey acknowledged the slight with a quick, light elbow to Marie’s delicate ribs and a crooked smile.  “You know,” she continued, “we didn’t even have one of those cute little first-night-of-marriage fights you read about in Cosmo.”

“Correction – that YOU read in Cosmo.  I’ve never even picked up an issue.”

“Oh, you’ve picked up other issues over the years my dear!  Maybe they weren’t magazines, but you definitely have some issues!”  Marie cracked herself up, but Casey was not amused.

“Are you done?  Are you done now?  I’ll wait until the laughter fades.  Just know that if you literally die laughing I will not be calling an ambulance.  When anyone asks me where my wife is I’ll-”

“Wife?!”  Marie shouted.  “That’s the first time I’ve heard that out of your mouth.”

“Yeah…and?”

“I like it.  Actually I love it.  From now on, you are to refer to me only as ‘wife’.  Understood?”

“I dig the dominance!  Can we have some of that when we get naked?”

“Stop it!  I’m way too tired to even think about sex right now.  Whoever said that your wedding day goes by so fast you barely notice it was only half right.  You don’t notice it, but you sure as hell feel it.  So what do you say to calling me that?”

Casey took her small hand in his and kissed the gold band.  “It would be my honor, Wife.”

He winked as he kissed again.  Marie reluctantly retracted her hand and reached over to click off the light.  Casey didn’t need an invitation and moved in to close her in his arms.  Marie smiled, and with a few wiggles of her hips, snuggled into her new husband.  She liked the sound of ‘husband’ more than Casey liked the sound of ‘wife’ but knew she didn’t have to say anything.  He knew, he always knew.  Casey breathed in slowly and deliberately as his head swam in the aroma that still lingered from the tiara of roses and baby’s breath that had adorned Marie’s veil.  It looked like a halo.  That was the way he would always remember that day: it was the day he married his angel.  He gently let his lips tangle in her dark hair.  He drifted slowly to sleep as he thought…

She tasted like a garden.  He closed his eyes and was transported to a sunny day with a bright powder blue sky and all the other trappings of picturesque landscapes that only he and Marie could ever populate.  In this vision of his paradise Marie was laying flat on her back as the sun’s rays caressed every inch of her velvety skin.  She was nude, as there was no one to catch them.  He was standing at some length away when she motioned for him to come closer.  Without a moment’s hesitation he began to run, quickly sprinting to full speed.  The closer he got to her the farther away she seemed.  He stopped but was not out of breath.  He looked ahead but she was gone.  He saw the imprint in the grass of her light footsteps leading into a thicket of small white flowers.  He followed the path not sure of what to expect.  The thicket was much larger than it seemed from the outset.  It was deeper and wider and held a small pond.  Though instead of being populated with crickets, frogs, and lily pads, this pond was made of everything that reminded Casey of Marie.  The air was her favorite perfume.  The sky turned from a light blue to a fiery yellow, her favorite colors.  Suddenly, he saw her.  She was wearing a white dress, similar to her wedding gown.  At that moment he realized how just a few hours ago he was only one man but now he is a part of something bigger and better than he could have ever imagined.  He wasn’t chasing a woman – he was chasing his wife.  He realized that he never needs to chase her again, he never had needed to in the first place.  She loved him.  He closed his eyes to absorb the perfumed air of his fantasy.  He opened his eyes and Marie was standing in front of him.  She smiled slightly and said, “In a jar, fireflies only last for one night.”